Many websites request you enter a “password”.

Taking the phrase apart, they’re asking for a “word” that allows you to “pass” into a secure area.

So why do they complain when you enter a “word”? They’re half-right: a single* dictionary word is easily guessed and easily hacked.
They should ask for a “passcode”.

We’ll leave the rest of this discussion to William Safire.

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* While a single dictionary word is insecure, current theories suggest “Thisisareallylongpasswordforawebsite” is more secure than “password123″. It’s also easier to remember: just pick a favorite phrase or joke. Don’t forget the punchline.

Cheap computers are coming to rural China.  Like the fax in the USSR, but faster, this will empower and encourage free thinking. Censorship will be futile.

There’s no need for bullets, communism will die from bytes.

Can your product change the world?

“This gift certificate is valid for 18 months, followed by a 6-month grace period, after which it will expire.”

It would be efficient, technical, and correct to say “24 months” or “two years”.

However, it wouldn’t be more human.

By giving a grace period with their gift certificates, Amazon.com is saying, “you’d better shop soon,” but, “hey, if you forget, we’re adding some extra time for you.”

Amazon.com, again, shows you don’t need a geriatric greeter to make your shopping experience more human.

“Gurus” around the world are blogging on why people don’t make the logical choice to switch from incandescent to “compact fluorescent” bulbs.

This is retarded. Since when do people make logical choices? Nobody hires us to help them reason with consumers – you have 3 seconds to convince some overworked, under-informed housewife or apartment dweller that she should buy your product. Logic can’t get up off its bum in that time.

Here are the problems with the compact bulb:

1. The swirl – is this an ice cream parlor? Why would I want that shape in my fixtures? It looks like something you’d find in Dr. Frankenstein’s lab.
2. The packaging – if I need to stab at a package to extrude a fragile glass contraption, someone is an idiot. The guy who designed the package, or me for spilling the inevitable glass shards.
3. You cannot dim the things and they blow if you accidentally do!
4. The glass shard producing bulb – seriously, have you tried to unscrew one of these things from its socket? (Perhaps because it wont dim?) The glass snaps off the fat plastic base! Please try not to bleed on my lamp shades.
5. The fat plastic base: The ballast (square)! doesn’t fit into designer lamps, which were created for normal lightbulbs (round!). Overhead sockets are also iffy.

The first three problems describe why you wont buy one: they look odd, are a pain to open, and lack the versatility of a regular bulb.

If your message is “It’s as easy as an ordinary bulb, but will save you $60”, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ORDINARY BULB:

1. Put it in a cardboard box! For crying out loud, nobody wants to see that swirl – it’s scary.

2. Better: blow a round bulb around the swirl – just like you hid the filament, hide the swirl.

Then, tax incandescent bulbs. Really, if they’re costing everyone so much through pollution, why not recoup the costs? Consider it a gas-guzzler tax.

Then, stay at the drawing board, because, really, saving money is cool, but these bulbs are ‘beta’ at best.

“Remember, it’s not a TiVo unless it’s a TiVo.”

So says the woman on the radio commercial selling that brand of digital video recorder.

I wonder if her script was Xeroxed on a Toshiba copier, or if she refreshed her throat with a cold glass of something from her GE Frigadaire. Maybe she brought her lunch in one of those new Glad-brand Tupperware containers.

All of the italicised brands had their names turned into commodities - because everyone else sold the same thing!

If a product is not a TiVo unless it’s got certain exclusive features, then every DVR becomes a TiVo. The line should be: “Remember if it’s not a TiVo it doesn’t have Feature-X”.

When product design is lame, the lameness flows through to their marketing. This type of advertising is, well, a Band-Aid.

There are many messages out there telling you to click for a prize. They’re digital Ed McMahon’s. You don’t believe them, and you wouldn’t share them with friends. Here’s an e-mail that’s different:

Dear all:

In honor of World AIDS Day, Bristol-Myers will donate one dollar to the National AIDS Fund for every person who clicks the link below and moves the match to light the candle. There is no cost to you in doing this, other than the brief amount of time it takes.

https://www.lighttounite.org/

I hope you will take a moment to light one, and pass the word on.

Thanks for your time,

You should remove all pets and birds from the area.

You shouldn’t re-enter the area for fifteen minutes after you’ve sprayed.

These instructions on the Raid brand bug-killing spray make it clear:

It’s poison. Don’t inhale it.
So why does their label advertise it has an “Outdoor Fresh” scent?

And why (try to) give it such a fragrance?

A typical disposable tin baking tray says “Support the bottom of pan” - on the bottom of the pan.

Let’s assume most folks don’t consider needlessly supporting the bottom of an empty pan.

After they’ve cooked whatever’s covering the bottom how do they read the covert message?

Why don’t they stamp the message atop the side rims of the pan? That’s where we go to grab the pan in the first place.

iPod

It’s a bit ironic that Apple is the favorite tech brand among tree-huggers when you’ve got thousands of users tossing plastic cases into landfills so they can get the same case with a bigger drive or a different screen. Made modular, you’d be able to buy an upgraded disk, display, or firmware without tossing everything else. That white box would also be green. How do you like them apples?

Automotive

The same should be done with cars (which we Americans toss far quicker than anyone else). Designing a car that let’s you upgrade body and interior panels would save thousands of tons of steel each year, just for that line. Consumers would get a fresh look that’s more personalized, companies could cut back on production and shipping expenses (seeing as they’re losing money on each new car, it’d be a relief to profit on new panel sets), and consumers would be willing to spend a little more on technology and comfort features, knowing the car will still be in style (their style!) ten years down the road.

With ebay eating into their new product sales, many companies are looking at ‘Planned Obsolescence’ so their products will wear out or become incompatible before it’s worth ebaying them.

Here seems to be their plan and marketing strategy:

Your last experience with our product will be a disappointing one. Nobody will want it, not even e-thrift-shop bargain hunters. You will seek something better, which, despite our loyalty crushing plan, we hope will be another of our products.

Such companies ought to figure out how to make money selling upgrades.