“Gurus” around the world are blogging on why people don’t make the logical choice to switch from incandescent to “compact fluorescent” bulbs.

This is retarded. Since when do people make logical choices? Nobody hires us to help them reason with consumers – you have 3 seconds to convince some overworked, under-informed housewife or apartment dweller that she should buy your product. Logic can’t get up off its bum in that time.

Here are the problems with the compact bulb:

1. The swirl – is this an ice cream parlor? Why would I want that shape in my fixtures? It looks like something you’d find in Dr. Frankenstein’s lab.
2. The packaging – if I need to stab at a package to extrude a fragile glass contraption, someone is an idiot. The guy who designed the package, or me for spilling the inevitable glass shards.
3. You cannot dim the things and they blow if you accidentally do!
4. The glass shard producing bulb – seriously, have you tried to unscrew one of these things from its socket? (Perhaps because it wont dim?) The glass snaps off the fat plastic base! Please try not to bleed on my lamp shades.
5. The fat plastic base: The ballast (square)! doesn’t fit into designer lamps, which were created for normal lightbulbs (round!). Overhead sockets are also iffy.

The first three problems describe why you wont buy one: they look odd, are a pain to open, and lack the versatility of a regular bulb.

If your message is “It’s as easy as an ordinary bulb, but will save you $60”, MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ORDINARY BULB:

1. Put it in a cardboard box! For crying out loud, nobody wants to see that swirl – it’s scary.

2. Better: blow a round bulb around the swirl – just like you hid the filament, hide the swirl.

Then, tax incandescent bulbs. Really, if they’re costing everyone so much through pollution, why not recoup the costs? Consider it a gas-guzzler tax.

Then, stay at the drawing board, because, really, saving money is cool, but these bulbs are ‘beta’ at best.